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Name: sixuan


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Member Since: 12/7/2004

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Sunday, February 07, 2010

I've been swimming! :)  makes me happy :) it was during this time, exactly one year ago, that i was OBSESSED with swimming haha.  and then came The Fall and poof i never dipped a toe in again :)  but now i feel like i've regained something that i lost! okay i kinda lost something else, but nevermind. i know this one will come back very fast dad said in a week's time i'll probably be completely okay.  okay but he did say that i probably won't be able to do stuff like RUNNING for a while yet. it's okay i'll swim :D  anyway, i realise the human mind is pretty impressive. it can obsess over certain things for SUPER LONG. like, the whole time i was in the pool today i just kept thinking nonstop about hh hotpot. no kidding. okay occasionally i would throw in some memories of like orientation, or sixers, or last year, of omg of deciding to join council haha.  ridiculous how it just doesn't stop thinking. i neeeed quiet really. in my own head.

moving on, stumps is coming back to school tmr! :)  granted i won't be able to hang out with her any weekday this week because well because our schedules COMPLETELY clash, but who cares?! just her coming back signifies well. signifies things going back to normal, kinda.  when was normally actually okay ANYW: :D oh yes!!! while i was swimming i also thought about one thing that made me super duper happy :D after alevels, ESTHER TANG CHOW HUI LING CHERYL TAN STEPHANIE ANG KOO SI XUAN = JAPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woohooooo now THIS. is definitely something to look forward to.

alright reality calls!!!!!!


Friday, February 05, 2010

TIRED.

 

gaodim certain stuff! (: its 1243am D:

anyway (:

I WENT SWIMMING JUST NOW!

 

first time since last february.  wow. but yknow it feels like i never stopped swimming :D except of course speed is VERY SCARY now D': sighhh~ the keloid kinda hurt though but ah hecked it :D I'VE MISSED SWIMMYIMMYING!!!!!!( :

 

shall go again tmr


I ask you
How many times have You picked me up,

When I keep on letting You down.

and each time I will fall short of Your glory
how far will forgiveness abound?

 

have dropped bio h3!  I am proud of myself for finally being able to make this decision. for once, personal health > work-related accomplishment.  I won't listen to the adidas/nike mottos anymore haha meh. 
obviously not a decision I am completely okay with, but I prefer this to the alternative.

so this leaves me more time to catch up on all the BACKLOG i have omg backlog backlog.  okay breathe.  exhale! inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale let's do this (:

erks went into camp today.  miss him already )':  but thankfully there's cny so we'll have him back soon! (:

I miss stumps like crazy too! ):  it's been nearly 2 months since I last saw her, NO KIDDING.  I saw her 10 dec, and it's now 5 feb :'(  but she's coming back to school on Monday!!!!!!! (:  I just know things will feel so much better with her back in my life again.  Finally I have a real best friend instead of some virtual one haha

P1050541

 

and You answer,

My child, I love you
and as long as you're seeking My face
you'll walk in the path of my daily sufficient grace


Wednesday, February 03, 2010

in the aftermath of yesterday night, i am feeling really drained but you know what, happier. haha. I needed to empty out badly to feel human again.  I'm actually feeling quite normal now (: some sense of sanity has been restored

so yesterday. after O'nite, which passed SUPER fast (really, act V was over in a flash!  hahaha sagar) we had weeping session, camwhoring session, cleaningup session, and then we met our og (: who waited for us in nyny till 10pm :/ AND THEN till 10.30 for us to finish eating <3  i think our oglings are too cool for us, but okay i won't tell them that so soon.  anyway i'm quite blehhh about not having gotten to know each of them on a personal level, that part really sucks like crap. actually i think even cherie who was OIC spent more time with us than i did with my og, and omg this part REALLY stinks D': it's like one of those regrets, but then not such a depressing one either because i don't know what else could have been done i mean storyline required that amount of time of the few of us so.. :'/ idk if it's possible to still get to know them? like maybe if they do continue hanging out. SIGH. i miss our og now idk why it's not like i was super close to any of them.  hate how you meet people, find commonalities in your value systems etc, see the potential for friendship, and then poof - they're gone. like, there's not enough time you know? for building up. oh breaking down, hell yes. it's that easy to screw something up i should know.  but to really build up friendships requires time, which is really scarce these days damn )':

anyway I miss storyline too. came some points i didn't think i would, but yeah i do.

why do we miss things only after we've lost them.  like kie was saying.  and it applied to everything! like. my ankle, the trust people have in you (potential strong friendships~), experiences.

oh well. I've learnt a lot you know ):  and I have huge regrets, which makes the ending even more -sigh-.  but I guess this is called growing up! and i had a kind of htht with of all people cheeyeow yesterday during batch dance haha srsly random but he is great to talk to! totally gets what you're saying and i totally got what he was saying. okay anyw the mind is truly a powerful tool. i was thinking how as adolescents we can try our best to figure out some things in our minds, but if we don't know how to control our thinking then it can go out of hand and that's when we end up jaded etc.? so -

while hobbling about in school i've met many nice people who would ask if you're okay even if they don't know you.  which is quite heartwarming i think. i mean, even if it's just a passing question, it's still better than nothing. it's like. it shows they have abit of heart? like if i were superstressed and chionging about, i don't think i'd have time to ask a stranger i see whether her ankle is okay whether she needs me to carry her up some flight of stairs (despite being heavy) whether she needs me to get her bag (which was really light). quite nice to know (:  MAKES ME THINK SOME OF THE J1S ARE REALLY NICE TOO HAHA! anyway okay uh where was i ah yes (: and you know oteam you make friends with new people in a hibye way sorta haha (: like even if you never really talked to them they are after all wearing the baby pink/blue g'alvea shirt and that makes all the difference so you wave anyway cheerilyyyyyy oh so cheerily (:

anyway, mom has been, really, so nice.  she keeps bringing me food from downstairs and she helped me bandage my ankle etc.  it's not even hurting as much as before but it still is really bulbous which i don't quite get D: heck it!! I EXPECT TO BE UP AND RUNNING IN A WEEK'S TIME WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD IS GOOD HALLELUJAH

so all things did work out for everyone's good in the end (: more or less, i suppose! (: this chapter isn't over though, hell yeah it continues for about 3 more months..


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

DON'T STOP!

Orientation is over, wow I cannot believe this.  Time flies.  Ah how many times have I said time flies!!!  But srsly it applies for every single occasion.

I"m not going to school tmr I want to lie in bed haha the ankle needs rest wink wink;)

SLEEEEEPY WEEPY TIMEY WIMEY (:

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